codycooper's Journal

My First Journal Entry
I don't know about this site, publishing my feelings for the world to read. What ever I will take what comes and i think it is time for me to do this. It is getting worse between melissa and I. I really don't want to lose her as a friend but as ever day passes, it seems that we are moving further and further apart. When we fight we fight about stupid things that if i just would not open my mouth nothing would happen and the fight would not start. I am here for 3 more days and I am just not going to talk to her and maybe we can still be friends. She means more to me then life itself, and i have hurt alot losing her as a girl friend and it will kill me even more if I am to loose her as a friend too. I don't know if I can deal with that right now. Melissa was my best friend for a year and 6 months, and now i feel so alone, like I have nobody.
For me I love the song by Weezer called My Best Friend, where it says "When everything is wrong I'll come talk to you, You make things alright when I'm feeling blue, You are such a blessing and I wont be messing, with the one thing that brings light to all of my darkness, You are my best friend, and I love you" it is how I feel about her.
Now when it comes to Cedrick, her new whatever he is... i am still not sure. I don't like him, sure i have never met him, but I have heard what he has done in the past. I know you should not judge people for what they have done in the past but my gut says he is going to hurt her way more then I ever did. I think with him she will really get hurt. I am not trying to be selfish and tell her she can't date other people, she can date who ever she wants. But I thought when she said she wanted to be single, she would act single, and not act like shes in love all over again. I just want her to be happy. Not with someone, but happy by her self. She really needs that.
I have been getting better as time goes by, people are telling me to keep busy and not think about it, and that it will get better. I guess that is helping it is starting to get better, but at the same time is f***ing sucks. OK i think I am done.
bye,
Cody

Current Mood: frustrated

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